Total Loneliness....

'Living in desperate.....life is form of abnormality....' damned miss those days......

Today is yet another boring day to me. Just now, i was waiting at the bus stop and ready to go kl. I saw an ice cream man passing by, riding his motorcycle to sell the ice creams. He has been selling ice creams for years, that may even have started before i am born. In past days, i used to buy ice cream from him. Wondering if he still remembers me or not.... while waiting at the bus stop, i took out a book and started reading it. I don't like to waste time. I hope i am busy every now and then. However, i am free like hell now and dying for something else to do. Actually, i also don't know why am i going out today. Yesterday i argued with my sister. god-damned.....She returned the taiwan drama dvd '原来我不帅' to her friends while i finished watching the 3rd episode only. I was very angry with her now. Bcoz she screwed up my ONLY ACTIVITY in this week. She always likes to go against me. Seriously fed up with her already. Can she be more 'woman' a bit?? haih...fine...looks like i owed her only....Okay, my U48 had finally come, after waiting for almost an hour. ( You see, i am wasting time again!) So i quickly got on board and grabbed a nice seat. After that, as usual, i was attached to the book again. Many people looked at me in such a way that i am a bookworm. HALO! come on! Don't look at me like that! Reading is not a faulty thing to do okay?! Japaneses already practised this since don't-know-how-many years ago! I sighed, and continued reading my BOOK. 睬你都傻! At the same time, i was also thinking of my next destination to go.

In the bus, i couldn't focus at all. They were so noisy man! Haih...didn't know why was i so frustrated. I thought i was used to that ady. Today is not my day, or u may even say that this month IS NOT MY MONTH. One of my friends said that 'the beginning is the most important part', a saying by Plato. I know about this quote. Haih...dahlah my holidays sudah sucked at the beginning, the 'outset'. What can i expect somemore... No choice, i kept my book back into my bag and started to daydream. I was wondering how do my friends plan for their holidays. Yeah...i know there is one, oh no, perhaps two of them went on a trip to langkawi. Wah....langkawi the neverland, i have never been there man! so admire them... Wish they have wonderful time there. And regarding my other friends, from kl, my old buddies, i hope they plan well for their holidays lah! Hmm...shall i take this chance to introduce my old buddies. Out of a sudden i missed them so much....Well...They are four of us, namely me, ong ken nee, daniel see and liow zhung lun. Actually there are more, but these are the closest ones, anyway. We all get to be together in Victoria Institution Red Crescent Society, which we have joined since Form 1. Ken Nee was the secretary, me the treasurer, daniel the drill director, and zhung lun the medical officer.

Ong Ken Nee, the best buddy i ever have in my life. He is a very diligent and intelligent guy. Straight 10 A1s for spm ma! haha okay! I seriously appreciate this friend a lot. Last time, he helped me up a lot with my homework because he can memorise things well and have a good comprehension skills. Serious speaking. Without him, i don't think i can succeed in my studies. He was the one who had given me the motivation man! I always tried to beat him by getting better results. Yeah, i did. However, he won more. hahaha...And also, we also used to play the fool together, doing some stupid things, which i cannot tell lah, of course! Besides that, we went to the Times Square for bowling every friday. We rushed to there everytime we go, in order to get the package with lower fees before 2pm. Sometimes often, we also went to internet cafe for dota. We don't just study! hehe! So miss him lah! He is taking medical course in Russia now. Haih...It is a waste that he cannot get the jpa scholarship, or otherwise we can be partners again. He should have listened to my advice by taking extra subjects as backups! He studied so hard! Haih anyway... All the best for his studies!! He can make it!

Next, Daniel See. He is the only one who had girl friend among us last time. (Oops! sorry to hurt you man..) Well, this fellow, height around 170cm (should be taller now, pts student ma), weight around 70kg, a bit plumpy, but still okay lah! Also a smart one, especially in piano teaching, just passed his Grade 8, now doing diploma. He was used to be my temporary piano teacher for few months, and i hope he still is lah! Never teach me much things also, because it was always me who practised the songs first and then performed to him. But i still thank him for being helpful to me. Free lessons wo! Hoho! He pointed out the mistakes i made while i was playing the song so that the song can sound better. Now, he is taking architecture course in ALFA college, if not mistaken. And now he is online and tell me that he has just finished his assessment. Thanks god! He has finally finished dealing with his assessment or whatever lah! Can't wait to see him ady.

Lastly, Zhung Lun. Well, this fellow is a jpa scholar also, taking ICPU in taylor college. Height around 166cm( same with ken nee) and weight around 65kg(10 kg more than ken nee). Hmm... this fellow right, i seriously wanna talk bad about him now. He can play piano also, Grade 8 ma,but failed the piano exam last year, with 99 marks, which is just 1 mark below the passing mark. Cannot blame loh, he didn't practise hard enough. And also, he has the thickest spectacles in the form, with power near to 1000. (must take very good care of ur eyes man....) Haha! okay enough ady! Who asked u to urge me to update the blog! Be more patient lah! no stories how to tell man! and also, it is very hard to ask him to have an outing with us. Don't know what kind of things he is busy with..... Hmm....hmm.....i wonder if there are any good sides i can think of him. This fellow has a bad temper, likes to throw tables and chairs, mouthful of bad words.....however i am still very close to him. Whenever i feel sad or upset, he is the first one, besides the other one, i will think of. I will confide in him with my problems, and that is why sometimes i really feel sorry for him to listen to my bullshits. Overall, this fellow is still a good friend to mix with.

After around half an hour, the bus came to a stop. I got down and headed to Sungai Wang. I went to a piano shop. Haih....what the hell...looking at the same pieces of piano scores again! So without wasting time, i went to times square ( i also don't know why). After loitering there without purpose and destination for around an hour, i walked all the way from ts to petaling street, and then to 星马 to look for some nice taiwan dramas. Hehehe! I managed to buy the 篮球火 at a considerably low price. Gonna take my revenge ady. Wouldn't let my sister to watch this!! We shall see..... Next, i went to the internet cafe and started writing this blog. It is around 10pm now. I must finish this blog quickly so that my friends wouldn't be noisy again. Okay. Coming to the end ady. After this, i gonna eat my dinner. So hungry now..... Christmas day is coming next week. I plan to join the christmas party held at City Harvest church with other friends. Seriously looking forward to what kind of surprise they will give us!! haha! Okay! Stomach is aching ady. Gonna find something to feed it. See ya!!! ^^

14th November 2008

Finally, i finished my last test which was the statistics. God bless....One of my friends had planned to go sunway for a break, at the same time to gather around before we went back to our hometown for the long holidays. So, right after the bio briefing in the hall, my roommate and i planned to go to music block for a piano session. Unfortunately, the room was closed. Being disappointed, we walked all the way to the place where the bus was parked and awaiting, and then went back to hostel to settle down everything before going to sunway. In the hostel, i went to my friend's room to borrow his laptop and play the pokemon pearl version which i had missed so much, while waiting for my friends who were still bathing or managing their housing chores. At 2pm, jun qing, bryan, zhu jie and i were ready and heading to ktm station by intec bus and then taxi. There were other people joining us also ( though i don't really know who they are) and they were ady waiting at the ktm station. We all reached sunway at around 3pm. After that, we had our lunch 1st (i was so hungry as i had totally forgotten to eat my breakfast that morning! Blamed the tests lah!) before we started our activities that afternoon. Well...after having fed our stomachs, we started our very first activity of that afternoon. ICE-SKATING!!! This was the second time i was on top of the ice while the rest were being the first time. We almost played for around 3 hours, and at last, ended up in getting all kinds of blisters over our feet (now i even wonder that my blisters have been deteriorated with inflammation!) as we didn't follow the right ways and "postures" while skating on the ice!! Hehe! Then, we went for a movie Madagascar 2. Seriously, it is definitely a movie by which u can laugh ur head off! The movie ended at around 9.30pm, and then we went shopping around, buying some food for our supper. We reached our hostel at around 11.00pm. Before going to bed, i firstly went and settled my luggages that took me almost a whole night time as my dad will be coming the next morning to fetch me home. my gosh........

My grandmum's memorial day

Tomorrow is my beloved grandmum memorial day, which is also the first day i will be having my end of semester tests. 2 years ago, my grandmum passed away out of a sudden. My parents told me that it was because of stroke. I really regret the moment when i got to know this news. Shocking everyone in my family. I hadn't tell her about my will to become a doctor. Before that, becoming a doctor was just something that i wanna do because of the influence of my friends and family. However, after this incidence, it has seriously given me all the motivation and fortitude i need in achieving this dream. That day, i cried really hard, flashing back the happy moments we had been together. I swore to her, though i am not sure she will get it or not, that i will work and study very hard and once i have become a doctor, i will help whoever that need my help! That is why i always remind myself that i must not study for the sake of results only, but at the same time, i should also think of the ways to help the others, though the things i can do now is considerably limited. Haih...well...have to prepare for the coming maths test tomorrow. After enduring another 4 days of tests, i am free! Really hope this week can pass as fast as possible. A lot of funs, and of coz, studies are awaiting ahead!

About myself

Hihi...welcome to my very first blog that portrays on the life i led in Intec! Don't really know what and how to introduce about myself, just hope that none of u guys and girls will get bored. Hmm....basically, i am studying at Intec Shah Alam for A-level medicine under the jpa sponsorships. Before that, i was taking Form 6 classes in my former school. And yet another half year before the lessons i was lepakING around KL with friends. Haha!This shouldn't have done by those who call themselves as jpa scholars. But i just did it anyways....act of wasting time...Keke! I still can recall back the day that the approval announcement for jpa interview was made where almost all my friends were so down and i was like on top of the world on the other hand!!(just joking...ways of expressing my feelings). However, this doesn't reflect on the life i am going to lead in Intec. Everything here is not sensible at all...i seriously wonder how am i supposed to endure for another 2 years.....that is all for my intro, perhaps u may find out more somewhere else in future.... Haha! and sorry for any improper use of grammar...lazy to think of complete sentences..

4 months after studying in Intec Shah Alam.....

4 months of hell days in intec have really given me all the MOTIVATION in writing this blog. Don't really know what to write, so i think it is better for me to define the situation which has caused me such a trauma. Hmm.... 4 months ago, 29th June 2008, i still manage to recall the situation where i was being the first time in the accomodation ( i mean my hostel ). For ur information, i was so lonely when i was among the first few early birds who arrived at the hostel. On that day, i saw people walking in the gangs and talking to each others as if they had known each other ady ( yeah..perhaps they did). Envy them man! I didn't have any friends who came with me ( a sad case), and yet they all looked strangers to me. Therefore, i had been absolutely alone and quiet for the next few days, even after the orientation week, till the day i had my very first lesson, which i think was the maths period. Flashing back to that day, i still remember i was sitting alone at the front row, and then being quiet for the rest of the day ( not when the lecturers asked us to ice-break with each other lah!).

Haih....what can i do....i have always been, and still is, a quiet yet dull person. I know it is time for me to make changes in my life, or otherwise i will definitely get myself into a big trouble in aspect of communication with my classmates as well as housemates. Furthermore, there were all kinds of presentation in the next few months ( from which i had just done the last one few days ago) that required us to TALK. Talking to one person itself is ady a hard task for me, and now i were asked to talk to my god-damned smart classmates. Haih....i did try to communicate with the others, especially girls ( i don't mean bad here, because i am from boy school plus i am not talkactive, i will somehow face difficulties in having conversation with them). Well....time has proven it true, though it is still not perfectly realized yet. Sometimes i still prefer to be alone with myself. Now, my classmates, especially those malay guys who are sitting at the row right behind me, seriously like to make fun of me man! But they weren't trying to show their hostility. Instead, this is their way to express kindness ( i seriously can't find any other better words). Haha....

Okay. Before i proceed on any further, let me tell something else which i think have really widened my horizon. First thing first, which i never expect it to be changed, my writing speed. Hmm.... tell u all right, all those a level tests over here are crazy ones, especially the bio tests. Not saying those tests are godlike tough, but most students here always find themselves not having enough time to scribble down their answers. For my case, haih....lagi susah... i have a classmate who can write terribly fast ( sometimes i even wondered if she is writing human language). Therefore, i also tried to be like her and started writing fast so that i would be able to gain enough time for myself to complete my homework and the test papers as well. Apart from that, i also have a roommate who is being so philosophic to me. Yeah... he is very talkactive (actually telling all kinds of bullshits, which i can't help it..) and i was among the few ones who had always been LECTURED by him. Well....he often touched about some sensitive issues, but i personally think that this is one of the avenues to engage in good critical thinking. When talking to him, i always had to turn my brain upside down to meet his very challenging personal thoughts. haha... but also quite often, i did some stupid stuffs on my roommates, because the life over is so boring and meaningless! Sometimes, i even come to think that making people suffered might have brought u more joy! Haha... my old friends will definitely be shocked when they get to know this (become so evil ady, hehe!).

During these few months, i was also involved in some activities organised by intec. 2 months ago, there was a food festival in my college and some of my friends and i were involved. This time, at least, i could do something else other than homework and studies. Through this event, i get to know about those basic steps in making sushi foods, though the taste still sucks..hehe... Besides that, i also had some outings with my housemates and classmates ( well....only to Sunway Pyramid). Yeah! These were seriously the only times i could temporarily forget about the studies and take my time to enjoy the days! My classmates and i usually went to sunway right after we had done the tests ( luckily we did it...to overcome the depression caused by those tests, just like last week...). And i seriously salute my classmates man! They could shop around for hours ( or u may say for the whole evening and night) without fatigue whereas my backbone was ady aching! Perhaps it was because i was carrying my bag with plenty of books inside it gua! So, shopping may somehow improve one's stamina, i have no doubt for it. May use this as the example for my next presentation if possible. haha!

And today, i met my old form 6 classmates in a restaurant at Pudu. Miss them a lot man! They all had just done their school exams and was doing a meeting in the restaurant to discuss about the organisation of an upcoming school event. After that, we went to times square and loitered around. Hmm.... Well, that is basically all about my life in the past 4 months. I can't really tell them all because there are still plenty to tell! I am taking my study-leave which lasts for 2 weeks, and it is going to be NO LIFE for me. Have to study for days and nights to be ready for my coming end of semester tests. K. Gonna study now... another sleepless night man! Haih.... life is tough..